Lost Liveblog ep. 2

9:00 Previouslies. Hi Sayid! Lennon runs through the temple, up a ramp, and finds the Asian Man, says “He’s alive.” Asian man looks surprised.

9:01 Jack talks with Sayid. Sayid is confused about what happened. Kate looks to Sawyer for explanation. He is bit.ter. Sawyer wants to leave. He’s back to his old tricks.

9:02 Kate is at LAX, in the taxi with Claire. Oh Arzt. Claire tries to jump out, but doesn’t make it. They run over Arzt’s suitcase. Taxi driver totally bails! Ha! Kate starts driving and kicks Claire out. Was Claire preggers? I think so.

9:04 Back at the Temple, they take Sayid outside. Miles is awesome, as usual. Sayid is healed. No more bullet wound. Sayid thanks Jack for saving his life–I don’t think he’s being totally accurate. Lennon wants Sayid to come inside for questioning. Jack questions authority and everybody attacks him. Sayid pulls a gun and decides to leave. He’s out, like Rose and Bernard. Commercial. Time to make hot chocolate!

9:09 That was short. Jin and Kate go after Sawyer. Guys, he told you not to do that–can’t you leave him alone? Where’s your tire hammer? Is that a thing Kate? Guy at an auto shop lets Kate out of her remaining handcuff. Yep, Claire was pregnant. How did you miss that, Kate? Stuffed whale isn’t going to help Kate change, but it does make her fell sad. Back in the south Pacific, Kate gets ready to go after Sawyer. Lennon said it’s super important to bring him back. She has a great flat belly. I need to get on this Dharma diet.

9:13 Asian man pours some ash over Sayid. He has him strapped to a table. Looks like testing time! Electrodes–great, and a hand-cranked generator. Ouch. Sayid acts all hurt. Ooh, now he’s going to get piked with a red-hot poker. Must be testing to see if he can feel pain. Lennon says he passed the test. Ooh, apparently that’s not true! Commercial.

9:19 Kate finds Claire somehow and returns most of her stuff. Kate offers Claire a ride to Brentwood to meet the adoptive parents.

9:20 Kate tromps through the jungle with two guys from the Temple–Justin and Baldo. Justin keeps her from the tripwire. They found one of Rousseau’s traps! Kate uses it to knock the guys out. Turns out Baldo was Kate’s guard at some point. He has an axe to grind.

9:22 Back at the Temple, Sayid hangs out by the spring with the guys. Jack investigates. Asian man is grinding something with a mortar and pestle. They say Sayid is sick with an infection. Asian man has a pill ready for Sayid. Asian man asks how Sayid got shot. Ha, he’s calling Jack a murderer and tells him by giving Sayid the meds, he’s redeeming himself.  Commercial. Hot chocolate for real this time.

9:29 Miles asks Sayid what it was like to die. Hurley asks if he’s a zombie. Sayid says no. Haha, Miles, you’re so funny!

9:30 Jack is ready to give Sayid the meds. Looks metallic. Sayid says he trusts Jack–that’s sweet. Jack’s conflicted, as usual.

9:31 Jin asks where the plane landed s he can find Sun. He asks what Kate’s going to do when she catches up with Sawyer.

9:32 In California, it’s the Kate and Claire road movie. They arrive at the house. Claire is nervous and wants Kate to go with her. Adoptive mama doesn’t want the baby because her husband left her. Claire goes into labor.

9:35 Kate is at New Otherton. She finds Sawyer in his house, digging up the floor. It’s the way people grieve in his society, I guess. He’s not happy to see Kate–I am SHOCKED. Commercials.

9:41 The death cab pulls up to the hospital. Ethan is NOT A DOCTOR. He’s going to try to do something bad and Kate will fix it. He doesn’t want to stick her with needles. RIGHT. NOT TRUE. Claire, get out of the hospital right now. Claire asks if Aaron is okay–aww. She’s holding hands with Kate. Nice bonding moment, Moms.

9:44 Kate keeps following Sawyer. Girl, give him some space. She says she needs to find Claire and bring her back to Aaron. Sawyer insists it’s not Kate’s fault Juliet is dead, but he blames himself. He convinced Juliet to stay on the island, therefore, it’s his fault. Boo hoo crybabies, all of you.

9:47 Asian man spins a baseball. If you don’t need a translator, why do you have one? It’s easier to stay separate. Domian is Asian Man’s name. He says Jack, you know why I’m here. Jack wants to know what is in the pill. He’s a doctor, bud, just tell him what’s in it. Jack swallows the pill and Domian Heimlichs him to get it out. He says duh, it’s filled with poison. Les poissons? Commercials.

9:53 Claire gets a visit from the detectives. They are looking for Kate. Claire gives Kate her credit card. That’s nice. Kate says she should keep lil Turniphead. That’s nice, Kate. Run along now.

9:56 New Otherton. It’s nearing sundown and Sawyer is despondent. Did Kate just leave Jin in the jungle?

9:56 At the Temple, Domian and Lennon are treating Jack with tea. Why do you want to kill Sayid? They think Sayid has a bad soul–he’s possessed. Once his heart is affected, he won’t be Sayid anymore. Whoa whoa. Domian says this is what happened to Jack’s sister. Hmm.

9:58 There you are, Jin! He gets beat up by Justin and Arlo. He also gets his foot caught in a bear trap. Arlo is going to shoot him, but thinks better of it. Claire shoots them both! Hi Claire!

9:59 Bad Robot.

DC Covered in Snow

It snowed at least 30 inches between yesterday and 2:00 today. I went to ZBurger in Tenleytown for the $1 Snowburger special, which was fab, but I wouldn’t recommend venturing out otherwise. DC has a lot of idiosyncracies that come out during snowstorms. For instance, I saw a lot of people with Nordic skiis, which is totally appropriate for this weather. Not appropriate? The people attempting to use downhill skiis as Nordic skiis. I saw a lot of people wearing ski goggles for no apparent reason. It’s like people looked in their closets and thought, “What do people wear in the snow? I’ll put that on.” I saw several people with ski poles and no skis or snowshoes. That was just confusing. The most inappropriate thing I saw though was the person with a snowboard and ski poles. No. It doesn’t work that way.

In other news, my snowpants are ripped at the knee! Boo I say. I’m going to attempt to acquire a pair of used Nordic skiis or used snowshoes for situations such as this in the future, which will be about once every dozen years. A friend of mine is hosting a party tonight and I’ll probably go–DC people are getting a little cocky about the snow, but places are reasonably closed, and metrobuses are out of service, and the metro has suspended above-ground service too, so that’s safe–except we can’t get where we need to go. Oh well!

Lost Liveblog

9:01 So it begins! Recap of the season finale up to the bomb blast.

9:02 We cut to a plane with Jack in it. Same stewardess who was on flight 815.  Rose! Looks like the plane is about to crash into the island.

9:03 BUT IT DIDN’T. Oh Bernard, you’re so witty.

9:04 Jack examines his face and he has a cut on his neck. Weird, right?

9:05 DESMOND!!! Does this mean Desmond and Penny aren’t back together? Jack seems to remember him, but not entirely.

9:06 Oh excellent–Meanwhile, below the plane, deep in the ocean…Dharma houses! And also the four-toed statue.

9:07 Commercial.

9:09 Are we back? Jack drops the bomb, everything falls into the hole, Juliet falls and sets off the bomb.

9:10 Kate wakes up in a tree! Dangerous! She is alert and limber like a monkey, though she is having trouble hearing anything. Uh oh, what if she is on Pi’s island with the people-eating plants?! Now she can hear again. Good.

9:11 She finds Miles. He can’t hear anything either. There’s the back side of the hatch, and a big hole in the ground. They’re back to just after Desmond blew up the Swan. Jack is there? Uh oh–multiple futures, people.

9:13 Ian Somerholder comes across the credits! Check you out, Ian. Sawyer is not happy.

9:14 Meanwhile, on the plane, Kate stumbles out of the bathroom with the air marshal. Hi Sawyer! Hurley owns the chicken restaurant chain and says he’s the luckiest guy alive.

9:16 Hurley and Jin on the island. Sayid is still shot and totes dying. Voice below the metal–Juliet? Oh man, Sayid is not looking good. Footsteps in the jungle–Richard? Probably Vincent. Oh hi, it’s Jacob! Hey buddy.

9:19 Commercial.

9:22 Back on the plane, Jin is being a controlling prick. Hi Boone! Boone, you are so chatty. Is Locke telling the truth about his walkabout? Because this is not the story we were told before.

9:24 Locke is back in Jacob’s lair. He cuts off a chunk of the rug to clean his knife of Jacob’s blood. Oh, now “Locke” wants to talk to Richard–kick some ass, Richard!

9:26 Lapidus and Sun are talking. Looks like good guys and bad guys are not quite so simple. Richard doesn’t trust the new people. He shows Benry Locke’s dead body. Benry is freaked.

9:27 commercial.

9:31: Kate and crew attempt to unbury Juliet. Hurley and Jacob walk over to Sayid. Hurley needs to take Sayid and the guitar case to the Temple–this will save him. Hmm. If you say so, Jake. Sawyer is getting more manic–he’ll kill Jack if Juliet dies.

9:35 Uh oh, Dr. needed on board the plane. Hey there Charlie! You little drug addict, you! Commercial.

9:40 Sayid is going to help Jack resuccitate Charlie.

9:41 Back at the Pit of Doom, they will try to use the ban to pull the pilons off Juliet–I’m not sure this will work. Looks like they can climb deeper into the pit now at least. Oh Juliet is a bloody mess. She thinks she set off the bomb, but it didn’t work.

9:44 Back to the beach with Locke’s body. Now everybody is coming into Jacob’s lair. Well, at least Benry. “Locke” is taking on the big scary guys. “Locke” deflects a bullet, then disappears. SMOKE MONSTER ATTACK! Ahh, the ashes protect against the smoke monster–that’s why they were around the perimeter of the cabin. So “Locke” is the smoke monster?  Oh yes, yes he is. Commercial.

9:53 Sawyer frees Juliet from the metal heart of the Pit of Doom. Kiss kiss. Aw, Juliet’s totally dead now. Sawyer’s going to kill Jack. He’s going to kill him to death. This will not be pretty.

9:55 Back on the plane, Charlie wanted to commit suicide and is not happy that Jack saved him. As the plane touches down, everybody looks uneasy and a few look really unhappy. Charlie is taken away by customs and is not allowed to carry his guitar . Locke and Boone shake hands. Locke waits impatiently for his wheelchair. Commercial!

10:05 Hurley prepares to take off, and Sawyer prepares to dig a hole. Kate wants to help him, but he asks Miles instead.

10:06 It looks like Jack won’t be clearing customs. Ohh, Dad’s body is gone. Coffin is gone and nobody knows where it is–mystery! Fake body time!

10:07 Back to the jungle and the Temple. Where Martin lost his arm. Tunnel, not pit of Doom this time. Great, decomposing bodies–that’s helpful. Hey, there’s Martin! Kate, of course, finds a torch. The music is getting faster, so SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN SOON. I bet Jack’s going to fall–nope he doesn’t. Kate is gone. Now everybody is gone! WFF? That is one serious temple.

10:15 Back at customs, Kate has to use the bathroom. She has to go there to pick the lock on her handcuffs. Kate kicks some ass, as usual. No metal detectors on the way OUT of airports, so that one cuff shouldn’t be a problem. Aw, Sawyer, you’re such a cad.

10:19 Sawyer wants Miles to tell him Juliet’s last thoughts. It worked?

10:21 Asian people at the temple. Also, new guys. They are loyal to Jacob. Guitar will prove he wants them to save Sayid. It’s an Ankh! Okay…with a note inside. This must be island mail service. Jacob and his lists! Geez. Commercial.

10-:29 at the airport, Jin doesn’t understand English. Sun would rather let Jin go to jail than betray that she knows a little English. Nice, Sun.

10:30 The water at the spring inside the temple is contaminated. Not cool. The water won’t heal the Asian’s wound–how will it fix Sayid? There’s an hourglass for some reason. They dunk Sayid in the water. They are going to keep him underwater until the hourglass runs out. Sayid struggles, goes limp. Are the flayed arms really necessary? Do we really need a resurrection myth in addition to everything else this show has going on? Sayid is really dead? That’s no fun. Commercial.

10:41 Back at baggage claim. Kate is trying to get out of the airport undetected. Walk through restricted areas–that will work well. She gets behind Hurley in the taxi line. Hi Claire! Now we’re at the spring and everybody is sad because Sayid is dead. The Temple crew found Miles and Sawyer and brought them back to the temple.

10:44 Asian man wants to see Hurley. They think Jacob is still alive. This upsets the Temple crew. They freak and start spreading ashes to protect themselves from the smoke monster. “Locke” is clearly an enemy of these guys.

10:46 “Locke” explains to Benry what Locke was thinking when Benry killed him. “Locke” sees himself as Locke plus agency. He used Locke to manipulate him into giving up his body. Ooh, “Locke” wants to go home. Where would that be?! More commercial.

10:51 Hurley says goodbye to Sayid. Miles is confused–he can usually hear dead people, but doesn’t seem to be able to hear Sayid. Kate cleans up Sawyer. She thinks the Temple Crew is protecting them. Sawyer has murder in his eyes. Says he won’t kill him though–he deserves to suffer like everybody else.

10:53 Jack is on the phone with his mom, regarding the missing body and coffin. He has a nice chat with Locke. Locke gets all spiritual–”They didn’t lose your father, they just lost his body.” Locke lost a suitcase full of knives.

10:56 Richard sees the flare from the temple. Oh Lapidus, you card. “It’s good to see you out of those chains,” says “Locke.” Then he gut-punches him! “Locke” is disappointed in the beach crowd. He’s probably going to attack the Temple now.

10:58 Temple crew wants to speak to Jack in private. Hi Sayid! You look confused, but alive.

10:59 Bad Robot.

In other news

LOST returns on Tuesday. I should probably ask for Wednesday morning off work. I plan to liveblog, if I remember.

Also, I need to make a cake! Tuesday is Groundhog day!

One Black Friend

I’m afraid I only have one black friend and am going to become one of those white people with one black friend. At the same time, I don’t think it’s a good idea to go our with the purpose of acquiring more friends of a particular color or ethnicity. I don’t have a lot of friends to start with, so one is a pretty big percentage, right? Am I just looking for things to worry about? Maybe.

Therapy

So my psychiatrist said I need weekly psychotherapy now. I’m back to where I was five years ago. Maybe I should quit my job and start working retail again too. I’m really embarrassed that she thinks I’m this bad.

Today I was so upset that my poop was weird. I wasn’t upset that it was weird, it was weird because I was upset. Yellow. Ew. I read that if it’s yellow, it’s full of fat, which would be a good thing, since that would be fat leaving my body. However, Panda, the rat terrier from the shelter, had yellow poop on Monday and she really doesn’t have any fat in her diet. I had half a roast beef sandwich and three bites of coleslaw for lunch. Took 20 minutes out of work for it. Hopefully I can do ten minutes tomorrow to be better. I’m really craving a hamburger.

I promised I wouldn’t contact anybody, but I texted PB a few minutes ago to see if he wanted to get together this weekend. He is pretty prompt at responding, so I doubt he is going to write back to me. I think this is a pretty clear sign he’s not interested in pursuing a relationship or friendship any further.

Question

Does getting plastic surgery mean you are a shallow, vapid person?

My beliefs

One step in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, as I understand it, is listing the core beliefs you have about yourself. I don’t think this will help, but it is nice to come clean about what I truly believe.

My beliefs

I do not deserve to be loved

I am stupid

I have a mental illness (or several)

I am extremely ugly

I am so fat I should probably use a scooter to get around

I take up unnecessary space

The world would benefit from the cessation of my existence

My skin is disgusting

My scars are gross

My body is gross

I look like a child

The only reason someone would be interested in me is for my breasts, or because he is a pedophile

I try too hard to be liked

I will never be liked

I will never have friends

People are nice to me because they feel sorry for me

I have no value

I am not valuable to society

The things I do make the world worse

Everything I do causes problems

I inconvenience people

I cause complications

When people claim they like me it is because I have tricked them

I fool people into being nice to me

I am devious

I will never be happy

I don’t deserve to be happy

When people get to know me, they discover how terrible I am, and decide they do not want me in their lives

I do not belong in anybody’s life

I should avoid other people as much as possible to keep from interfering in their lives

I should die a violent, painful death as soon as possible

The world would be a much better place without me

I am destined to be alone forever

I will never have a boyfriend again

I do not deserve a boyfriend

I am not smart enough to overcome my depression

I alienate other people

Nobody would voluntarily spend time with me

I do not voluntarily hurt people, but I cannot help but do so

My presence makes everything worse

There is nothing I can do to become better

I will never be not-fat

I will never be pretty

I will never have nice skin

I will never be a good person

I will never be a nice person

I will never have friends

I will never deserve to be pretty

I will never deserve to be not-fat

I will never deserve nice skin

I will never deserve friends

I will never deserve to be loved

Everything I do is futile

I am a danger to myself and to others

I will never stop feeling as bad as I do right now

If I ever feel better, it will only be a temporary illusion created by my weak mind

My mind is weak

I am weak

Regrets

I don’t like the results. I wish I’d never had it done. Nobody even notices a change. They hurt all the time and look gross. Nobody will ever be interested in them again. They were the only thing I had going for me and now they’re gone. I feel like they’re still huge and the more I eat the bigger they are going to get. All I am is a mobile bag of fat taking up space that could be better used as something, anything else. Even if it were empty, it would be better.

Fantasizing about suicide again. I don’t think I’ll ever get better–it keeps coming back. My friends still don’t like me, my boss thinks I suck at my job, and I’m totally incompetent at being a human. I tried talking about it and my friends just said “well, I don’t know what to say. Talk to somebody else.” AWESOME. I can’t help but think they would rather I disappeared too. My latest fantasy is just hitting my forehead over and over again with a hammer. Painful and successful. I banged my head against the elevator wall as hard as I could the other day, and it didn’t even do anything–no blood or anything. Can’t even get that one right.

I don’t want to do the things that I enjoy because I don’t enjoy them. I went to the shelter and felt nothing. I play my guitar and my violin and it just makes me sadder. I’ve tried to avoid eating but I keep failing at that too. I managed to not eat on Thursday or Friday, but ate on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, and today. I had an egg sandwich, an apple, and three chocolates. Freaking failure. Can’t even get something as simple as not eating right. It’s not that damn hard. I’ll probably go to bed early to avoid having dinner. Wish I could figure out a better way, I really do.

Surgery Update

620 grams removed from the Left, 630 grams removed from the right. Feeling sore, very glad Mom is here. Not sure I’ll be able to work a full day on Monday. Starting to get stressed out about filling my days, so it’s def. time to get back to work!