8:58 So excited for the Richard-isode. Ohboyohboyohboy.
9:00 Richard Alpert is a kind of advisor, and he’s had that job for a very very long time.
Richard thins his life had no purpose.
Ilana is in the hospital, and Jacob comes to visit her. Is Richard the Poor Richard of the Almanack? Jacob wants Ilana to protect the remaining candidates. She explains to Sun, Jack, and Hurley. Lapidus feels left out, and fey.
9:02 Ilana lost her bandages and is talking with Jacob. He says to check with Richard on what to do next. Richard has totally lost it. He is ANGRY. He doesn’t believe a word Jacob said. Time to tell tails. “You’re dead.” Everybody is dead–they’re in Hell. Richard storms off. Hurley looks dissatisfied. Commercials.
9:07 Henry Ian Cusick is still in the credits! Jack is freaking confused. Hurley is speaking Spanish with an invisible person. Richard doesn’t age. Lapidus knows more than he is letting on.
9:08 Richard is in Tenerife, in 1867, He is speaking Spanish to a hot babe who has a fever. Uh oh, and TB. That’s too bad. He goes to get a doctor. She’s Catholic. He probably doesn’t make it back in time. Pretty well-paved road for the 1860s.
9:11 The doctor is a jerk. He doesn’t want to go out to Richard’s house in the rain. They get into an argument and Richard kills him by knocking him into the table. Isabela is not doing well. She’s dead. Even though Richard stole the medicine, it won’t do any good. He is thrown in gaol.
9:13 A priest comes to visit him in the gaol. Richard has been learning English. He was going to travel to the New World from the Canary Islands. The Canaries are west of Africa, si? The priest refuses to forgive Richard for the murder. Richard must do penance, but he is to be hanged in the morning. Commercials.
9:16 The Canaries are just southwest of Morocco, near Western Sahara. This may explain why Penny’s henchmen were speaking Portuguese–the Canaries were under Portugal’s control until the late 1400s. In other news, Dennis Quaid and Miley Cyrus are in a movie together.
9:20 Richard’s gaolers come to visit him. He is blindfolded and they mumble. An English guy comes to see him. Does Richard speak English? Only under duress. Captain Magnus Hanso!!! Hanso buys Richard. Richard is enslaved on The Black Rock.
9:22 They crash into the Anubis statue. Maybe that’s how the top of it came off. It’s a bright and sunny day on the island as Richard awakes, with only a few others. A crew member or the captain kills a guy. Only fiver total peoples are left. Limited supplies means kill everybody.
9:25 Smokey comes to say hi. He kills everybody but Richard. He looks him in the eyes instead, then runs off. Richard is still chained to the ship. Commercials.
9:30 Richard is trying to pry himself loose off the boat. It is storming, so he also tries to get to the water. He finally succeeds at chipping away at the boat to come loose from his chains. He awakes to find a pig eating his friends. He threatens the pig and it runs away. In the scuffle, Richard loses the pin he was using to dig himself out of the boat.
9:32 Somebody is talking to Richard, asking if anybody is on the boat. It’s Isabella. He must be dreaming. Or, she’s one of those walking nightmares everybody sees. She says the smoke monster is the devil. Smokey kills her. Somebody else comes into the hold and gives Richard some water. It’s the Man in Black. I’m not sure he’s your friend, Richard. He says Richard is dead.
9:36 He says if the black smoke took Isabella, it means HE has her. He solicits Richard’s servitude in return for freedom from bondage. “There’s only one way to escape from Hell. You’re going to have to kill the devil.” Commercials.
9:42 He gives Richard the same advice the samurai gave to Sayid.
9:43 The devil took my body. I am the black smoke. His voice is crazy similar to Terry O’Quinn. Richard goes to the statue. What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Lots of debris on the beach. Jacob punches him a lot. Jacob proves Richard isn’t dead by trying to drown him. Baptism? Commercials.
9:52 Nobody goes inside unless Jacob wants them to. Jacob denies being the devil. He brought the ship to the island. Why? The island keeps the darkness away from the rest of the world. MIB believes in original sin and Jacob believes in free will and a sort of tabula rasa once you reach the island. Richard’s job will be to help people choose the right way. Richard wants to live forever.
9:56 He finds the Man in Black and gives him a white rock. Man in Black says his offer still stands forever. He gives Richard Isabella’s cross back and disappears. Richard buries it.
9:57 Present Day Richard comes back to the spot where he buried the cross and finds it. “I changed my mind” he says. Hurley comes through the jungle. Isabella sent him. Hurley speaks for the dead and has a very nice interchange with Richard.
10:02 If Richard doesn’t stop the man in black from leaving the island, they all go to hell. MIB and Jacob sit looking at the island. MIB smashes the wine bottle.
10:05 Bad Robot.
